Shared Interests

Saturday, 10 September 2011, around four in the morning.

She decided she wanted to cut back on her drink­ing, and sud­denly hang­ing out in bars wasn’t a shared inter­est. I don’t think I drink too much, but “too much” is tricky. Quoth the Poet: “You say that I drink too much, well I say that’s half true. I drink half as much as my daddy did, I drink twice as much as you.” It may or may not be sig­nif­i­cant that that song is called “Thank­ing Jose Quervo”.

It became clear pretty quickly that alco­hol was one of the pil­lars of our rela­tion­ship. We were doomed. She’d prob­a­bly have seen it sooner if look­ing into the future like that was in her nature; I’d prob­a­bly have seen it sooner if I’d had the self-​​respect to acknowl­edge such problems.

On the one hand, every­thing looks dif­fer­ent once the dust set­tles, which is itself deeply trou­bling. We have no real choice but to get on from day to day, decid­ing what’s true and false when we know from expe­ri­ence that the things we believe now might look com­pletely insane to us in hindsight.

On the other hand, man. It’s a bum­mer how things work out, sometimes.